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Blimey, a year since my last journal entry, time for another then. But what is there to report? Well I don't want to bring it down, but I've long suffered from anxiety and periods of self doubt and the last year has seen extended bouts of depression overcome me on occassion. Problem is it's a self perpetuating problem: when you mix with upbeat optimistic people in can be kept in check, a healthy dose of dry humour and cynicism balances things nicely, but if you start feeling you don't want to mix, or you don't see friends as often as you'd like you start becoming a little bit too self possessed.. you start gravitating towards things that make you feel sad; memories, music, images. Becomes easy to languish in melancholy.
Of course I can lose myself in artwork for a while, creating something fictional that fills a gap, and that will keep me fleetingly happy, But where I used to draw or paint a lot, it has become increasingly difficult to find the enthusiasm for it. This is a problem because it's really the only worthy skill I have and if I can't make a career out of it I'll be floundering to find anything else as fulfilling. I suppose if I found happiness elsewhere in my life my enthusiasm for all these things would come back. If I drag myself out of apathy in order to paint I am usually happy with the results but it's short lived. My other creative outlet is music. I play drums in a punk band, and the spontaneity and immediacy of that is good. I also create music on my computer, sometimes original stuff that could be practically any style of music, or covers of any music or themes that I happen to like. You can find a few of those things if you search for Harnois75 on Youtube.
I thought about joining Match.com or something like that to see if I can find the woman to make me feel like a complete person, but writing a profile that sells you when you are in the grip of a depressive mood is difficult, not to say rather pointless.
Prints
Prints of some of my horror film illustrations can be ordered via - https://www.facebook.com/GenreFilmPrints/
Drawing in Lock down
Well, strange times, but I'm certainly getting a lot of drawing done in this lock down. I'm averaging two finished illustrations a week, but with a list of films that still has 135 titles to go (with more being added as I remember them) I should be busy for a while yet.
Power
My art folders have been a bit of as wilderness in recent months (years) but when animated Power of the Daleks finally comes out I expect I'll be posting some of the backgrounds here. Roll on November.
Devious Journal Entry
Just a heads up if you enjoy my illustrations, I also write music, any genre I feel like having a go at but 'soundtrack' compositions are probably my favourite. I have uploaded a number of compositions to youtube (you can find me under my username Harnois75). Also I like to give cover versions a try occasionally so you'll find an eclectic mix there too. I have a Facebook page for music compositions and covers called 'The Dark Room'. - https://www.facebook.com/harnois75?fref=ts
Amongst covers there you will find original compositions like my impressions of James Herbert's novel 'The Fog' in the horror genre and few pieces under the title Snea
© 2013 - 2024 Harnois75
Comments3
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Happiness is fleeting, and comes in small doses. Not just for us brooding types, but for everyone. Well adjusted people just deal with it better. So maybe you need to have someone around--not necessarily a romantic interest, just anybody you're ok with--when doing your art.